I was suffering tremendously from the doubts that were forming in my brain. The research assignment was due the week after and I still did not have a topic of interest. And that is why, after class ended, I decided to have a talk with my teacher to try and get some ideas.
You see my dear students, at this moment, I was naïve as to how my life was going to drastically change upon talking with her. I was always a huge literature nerd and wanted to research somewhere around that area. The effects of books from a neurological standpoint, the portrayal of minorities in popular fiction. These were all the ideas I had, yet she brushed them all aside calling them rubbish.
“None of these seem worth investigating.” She said.
“Then, what do you recommend I research for the assignment?” I asked.
And what she said to me was the following: “Focus on the small things in life, cause then you’ll realize that they were the big things!”
My cerebral cortex shattered at the reception of this line. And as I drove back home, my mind wondered on what my research topic would finally be about. That was what drove me down the road I am now, the road of D.
Once I arrived home I instantly jumped to my desk and started searching through my bookshelf, looking for the smallest books I could find. In my escapades I found miniature copies of Bram stoker’s: “Dracula” and H.G. Wells’ “War of the worlds.” However, upon reading almost the entirety of both books, I realized that I was not thinking small enough.
“What makes a book?” I thought. Well obviously, books are constructed from paragraphs which are formed by sentences, formed by words, formed by letters. “Aha!” I exclaimed.
I went through an old book from my childhood, one that analyzed and featured great detail of each letter present in the alphabet. The letter A was a prime contender for me, nonetheless, it seemed too common in speech and I thought it would not have much research value. In contrast, letters like the X or Z were simply too uncommon.
And that is when I had an epiphany, the letter that would define me for the rest of my life. The letter D.
Throughout my whole existence the people around me said that the letter D was a simple letter not to be dissected. Yet, I quickly discovered that these Neanderthals were wrong!
To write the letter D as if it were a trivial matter is not only a disrespect to the letter, but for reasons I will explain later could quite likely come about and destroy our world!
You see my students, I started studying the D by deconstructing the way it is written. The following statement is the objective way that one must draw the letter D and to do it in any other way could bring about great danger to not only yourself but the ones around you!
You must first start with the near top of the page, making sure that there is upward space for the next crucial step. Afterwards, you bring down your pen or pencil all the way to the near bottom, once again making sure to leave a small area underneath. This will create a perpendicular straight line.
Over the years, students have asked me how they carry out this step, some draw the line slowly while others do it in bits. I always tell them that both ways are acceptable as long as they can get the line on paper.
However, the next step is the reason that most of my students fail this class, and that is the semi-circle. This step is a deciding factor, without it, the letter D would just be a lower-cap L. From the very top of the straight line made in the last direction, you must press your pen or pencil tightly and going from top to right, slowly make a curving motion that perfectly fits on the previously drawn bar.
While you learn to draw the letter, make sure to not get frustrated, we all make mistakes and just make sure to continue practicing every day until you’ve perfected the art.
During my personal experience, I must have conceived at least two-hundred Ds in different fonts and papers on that single night I started researching. And this is when I found another crucial thing about the letter, it’s more sinister side.
Being in a room surrounded by Ds, I felt a certain strange aura coming from such a huge number of them. At first, I thought this feeling was complete fabrication on my part. Even so, certain thoughts popped into my head. “What is the purpose of the letter D? How does our world use it and how does it use us?”
After some light research, I quickly discovered that the letter D is house to some of the world’s worst derogatory adjectives such as: disgrace, disrespect, dumb, domination, disease, dread, dentist, danger, deranged, demon, among many more. Once I got to this point, I hit a roadblock on my investigation. There was a clear dark side to the letter, yet I couldn’t seem to pinpoint what it was.
I thought back to the words of my teacher and realized that I was not thinking small enough. I procured my brother’s microscope and investigated each of the Ds at a molecular level. What I found can only be described as shocking!
The lens of the microscope were brimming with Ds! It was hard to see what was going on. It seemed like each D was trying to escape the confines of the paper and the worst they were drawn the angrier they seemed! The microscope shattered to pieces shortly afterwards.
Though I am glad this happened, if not for the microscope it could have been my right eye that shattered that day. It was then I realized that whatever lays beyond the D is something that must never be angered.
This my students, is the reason we study the letter D, so that the day when the Ds break free never comes! This is why long ago, even years after I got a D on my research assignment, I continue studying the letter and eventually became the world’s first D-ologist to then create the class that all of you are currently taking.
The reason we are here today is to treat the D the way it deserves to be treated, with respect and grace! The day that we begin deprecating it is the day that they will break free! That is the reason why we are here today and why we are proud to call ourselves D-ologists!